A client of my Ultimate Breakthrough Program would like to deal with the self sabotage pattern. She is smart and highly educated, yet she always ended up taking a mediocre job that didn’t pay what she deserved. She was also not able to hold a job for more than a year or so. She wanted a change.
“My mum never compliment me once in my life… instead, she finds every opportunity to criticize and make me feel bad!” she complained at the beginning of the session. Through the session, she realized there is a pattern of self sabotage as a revenge to her own mother “ You think I am not good then I just prove it to you…you should be happy about it right?!” her inner child said.
Sometime it’s hard to imagine how powerful our unconscious mind is, no matter it is driving us towards the resourceful behaviours or the destructive ones. Being rejected as a child has a profound impact on us, and the effect lasts until when we have grown up. The negative emotion and hurtful feeling maybe trapped deep in our psyche, which resulted in our belief that the world is a hostile place and that we need to fight. Sometime the rejection may lead to something worse - the rejection of ourselves.
I think many of us can relate to this. In our culture, parents seldom praise the children, and they believe that being demanding is the best way of parenting. What we need to do is to recognize this pattern and it source. Only then we can forgive our parents, heal the inner child, let go of the past and walk out of the shadow. The true maturity and personal power is the result of such a realization and taking responsibility of our lives.